SES To Acquire Eutelsat
In a EUR13 billion deal that’s been brewing for years, Luxembourg-based SES (NYSE Euronext Paris and Luxembourg Stock Exchange: SESG) is acquiring Paris-based Eutelsat (NYSE Euronext Paris: ETL) to preserve its EBITDA of 80%. The deal was announced after the SES Annual General Meeting, and may be approved as early as next week in Annecy. The deal is more than twice Eutelsat’s market cap.
SES aims to be the employer of choice in the industry. The company identifies, secures, engages, develops and retains the best talent to further expand its technological reach and business objectives. With this acquisition, we have struck our target and will thus be the only employer in the industry — at least in Europe.
As a result of the merger, the satellite fleet will be renamed HOT ASS and shall henceforth be abbreviated as "HA." The combined companies’ 2,200-headcount is expected to remain the same.
No pesky DoJ or DoD review is requited, and the EU Competition Directorate is expected to approve the acquisition by the end of April…
Ceci est une bonne idée! Competition Policy is basically applying rules to make sure that companies compete with each other and, in order to sell their products, innovate and offer good prices to consumers. How can we not approve such an ingenious deal? Enough of this senseless rivalry. The EU wants better prices for all and full employment in the satellite business.
Meanwhile, the agreement with Yahsat for a DTH service in the Middle East is expected to benefit from hundreds of new "adult" channels and will be renamed YAH BABY!
Happy April Fool’s Day. Yeah, we’ll come up with something better next year. Google’s name change to Topeka wins. Brilliant.
